my long write

This is my long write.

On Tusday we all in rimu did a long write.

we did it based on a girl sitting on a bench outside

all alone.But then a butterfly came but she

tried to touch it but it flew away but she made

a blue paper butterfly anyway can I get some feedback

and some inprovment points.But another free write wiil

be coming on documentary book about deinoycuhs

blog ya later.

[August 23 of september]

So it was like any other normal day but it was peculiar and  out of the blue.

I was sitting on a bench outside the hospital and a beautiful butterfly flew around me

I tried to touch the butterfly but it flew away.

Then I thought of something so I made a blue paper butterfly but a gust of wind snacet it from my

Hands like someone had taken it and threw it in the air and it landed in the tree.

I was sad and alone but then I tried to grab a flower but someone wearing black

Came and took it I was surprised so we played together.

I finally touched the butterfly so we were both happy.

But then the person left I was completely sad and lonely.

But the nurse came and took me inside for diner and have a bath.

Then I get my pjs on brush my teeth and read a book.

Then it was time for bed mrs barbra tucked me in and read a book to

Me. then as I was about to close my eyes the blue paper butterfly flew

All around the hospital and everything that was blue glowed

Even my toy blue trex  then I ran to every room in the hospital and I was

Right everything was glowing blue so I went back to my room

And it was there on the windowsill so I picked it up

And it glowed blue but it then faded so I put it with all of my school

Work and then it started to glow again so I just watched it all night till

2:00 o'clock in the morning but I went to bed and fell asleep  the end